I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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