We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
It's just like the Real World with babies
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
