Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
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