You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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