rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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