you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
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