Whod you bang
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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