Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
