i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
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