Umm I'm too high to move.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
