It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
