This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
All I want is dick and wine.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Randomize
