We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
so let's talk penis.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Randomize
