we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
just found out that she named her cat after me.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
my poor anus
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
