it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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