just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Randomize
