I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
