why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
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