Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
