the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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