the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
