I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
