Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Who put my cat in the fridge?
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
