your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
