Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
