I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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