You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
My feet surprised me
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