go do what you do best...puke behind churches
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
