Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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