Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Randomize
