doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
