I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
