let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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