So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
two words...techno handjob
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
