it wasn't lemon gatorade
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Randomize
