is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
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