Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I'm just crazy horny about you
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
