He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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