You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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