you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Randomize