I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
