are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
