no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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