he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
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