I got chris browned last night
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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