Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
