AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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