Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
