would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
