trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Randomize
